Marriage, tennis and beach tennis…

Rubem Alves

After long thought on the subject, I concluded that marriages are of two types: there are tennis-type marriage and the beach tennis-type marriage. The tennis-type marriages are a source of anger and resentment, and always end badly. The beach tennis-type marriages are a source of joy and have the chance of long life. Let me explain. To begin, a statement of Nietzsche, with which I entirely agree. He said: _ “By thinking about the possibility of marriage, each one should do the following question: Do you think you would be able to have pleasing conversations with this person until old age?” Everything else in marriage is transitory, but the relationships that challenge time are those built on the art of talk. In the tales of the “Thousand and One Nights,” Scheherazade knew it. She knew that marriages based on the pleasures of the bed are decapitated in the morning, they end in separation, because pleasures of sex burn out quickly, ending with death, as in the movie “Empire of the senses.” Therefore, when sex is already dead in bed, and love could no longer be said through it, Scheherazade would resurrect it through the magic of the words. It began with a long conversation without end, which should last a thousand and one nights. The Sultan would shut up and listen to her words as if they were like music. The music of the sounds or of the word – it is sexuality in the form of eternity, it love what is always raised after dying. There is caresses that are made with the body and caresses which are done with words. It is not be repeating all the time “I love you, I love you.” Tennis is a harsh game. Its goal is to defeat the opponent. And the defeat is revealed by the error: the other was unable to return the ball. You play tennis to make the other stumble. The good player is one who has the exact notion of the weakness of the opponent, and is precisely where he will address his shot to – very suggestive word that indicates its sadist purpose, which is cut, break, defeate. The pleasure of tennis is therefore at the very moment that the game can not continue, since the opponent was placed out of the game. Always ends with the joy of one and sadness of the other. The beach tennise is a lot similar to tennis: two players, two rackets and a ball. Nevetheless for the game to be good, neither of the players should lose. If the ball came a little crooked, we know that it was not on purpose, and we try really hard to return it and no one is defeated. Here either both win or nobody wins. And nobody is happy when the other slips up, because what we want is that nobody misses the ball. The error of one in the beach tennis is like premature ejaculation: an unfortunate accident that should not have happened, because what is really good is that coming and going, coming and going, coming and going… And the one who took a wrong shot apologizes, and the one who caused the error feels guilty. But never mind: it begins again, this delicious game where nobody scores. The ball is our fantasy, unreality, dreams in the form of words. To talk is to keep dreams banging to and fro, to and fro. Dream to and fro, dream to…But there are couples who play with dreams as if they were playing tennis. They are waiting for the right time for the shot. This is what the tennis game is like: to get the dream of another to destroy it, smash it as a soap bubble. It searches to be right and what is gained is the distance. Here, whoever wins, always lose. In the beach tennis it is different. The dream of the other is a toy that must be preserved, since it is known that if it is a dream, it is a delicate thing, from the heart. So the love grows. Nobody wins so that both win. And it is then wished for the other to live forever ever, for the game to never end …

Wedding Aline + Frederico

Casamento Aline + Felipe

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